Car just got broken into

Dear Whomever broke into my car-

First, go fuck yourself.

Also, best of luck cracking any of my passwords. I rock alpha-numeric-and special characters. The total value of the items stolen is approximately 850 bucks. I have filed a report and if you are caught I will pursue charges to the fullest extent of the law; and I promise I will do as much as I can to see you have a miserable experience in county.

Hoping you contract a painful illness,

Mike

PS- bold move going all the way up a driveway. I hope you are a drug addict who is about to get a tainted score of meth.