Ah the fist fight. The less interesting, less skillful, stupid, inbred-cousin of pugilism. People do it all the time- and thankfully, it is a universally painful prospect. This is a good thing- as stupid people who enjoy fighting others over asinine disputes by definition, have to walk away harmed.
This past weekend, I encountered one such asshole. A drunken twenty-something year old male had an argument in the bar I work at. Apparently, someone had offended him dearly (without even talking to him) and he wanted to settle it 'like men'.
However, I am getting ahead of myself. First, allow me to describe our aggressor. He stood about 5 foot 10 inches tall, 220-230 lbs with an established beer belly, was balding, white, and I suspect he also has never been accused of outsmarting anyone.
The disagreement started when the above person, whom by his own assessment was something akin to Don Juan, tried to seduce a woman with such enticing lines as 'you're fucking hot.' A friend of the young woman came over (male) and suggested they go to the other side of the bar.
The friend and the girl were actually quite reasonable. Don Juan however, would not hear of it. He challenged the friend to a fight, then and there. A few of our newer bouncing staff then escorted D.J. out - or started to anyway. D.J. sucker punched the other male in the back of the head after he turned to walk away.
At this point, I saw what was happening and left the entrance of the bar. I grabbed D.J., who fought with all the vigor never going to the gym and spending a drunken life near cardiac arrest can muster, and carried him outside. At this point, he squared off with me to brawl.
I do not fight. If a bouncer is punching people in the face (or anywhere for that matter) someone either better be in serious danger of getting their head kicked in, or he should probably be getting assessed on whether or not he should be fired.
So when D.J. charged me, with a wide, movie-like right hook, I was annoyed. I caught his hand and took him to the ground. Then D.J. tried to gouge my eye out with his free hand, cause he is tough- and tough guys fight hard. . .
Thankfully, D.J. was not athletic, not long limbed, not in anyway competent, and not able to put me in danger. As we sat in the street, with me pinning him to the ground- we both had time to reflect about the events that just transpired.
He swore revenge, I said I was good at paperwork. As he was driven away in the police cruiser, I couldn't help but wonder how a person, whom I doubt ever won fights, found the motivation to start them.
Moral of the story- Don't be an asshole. Don't treat people like shit. Don't sucker punch. Don't fist fight for no reason. Mainly though- don't be an asshole.
the guy who was sucker punched was ok. The guy who attacked us was less okay. He also went to jail. And sat there all Sunday and probably didn't get to see the judge until Monday. And had to use his shoes (without laces) as a pillow. And ate mystery meat sandwiches in the holding center. And will have to go to court.
2 comments:
I'n my life, fistfights are a last resort akin to lethal force. I'm not going to fight over anything if I can avoid it, but will instead do all I can to leave the area. I've known them to go way wrong on occasion, so it's not worth it to me.
Years ago, a USMC buddy of mine was maimed in a fight outside of a bar. He was a textbook Marine: about six foot three, 225 lbs, as physically fit as possible, and highly trained. He had been drinking, and so had his opponent from what I hear (I wasn't there). My buddy got hit on the button with a solid punch and fell backwards, lights out, and busted his head on the pavement. Other friends of mine close to him told me he had to relearn everything, down to how to walk and talk. It basically took him back to being an infant. This happened over a gentlemanly fist fight, with several involved parties standing by to make sure it was one-on-one and off the ground.
It's not worth it if it can be avoided outright. With your line of work though, you don't particularly have the option to leave; it's a good thing you have a good head on those shoulders. I cringe each time I see a fight, and I'm glad there are those like you who prevent them from happening in the first place.
Stay safe!
I agree totally C-tone. There is no good that can come out of a fight- and the only reason to willingly engage in one is in an attempt to save your life and the lives of those close to you.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend- we are not tough creatures physically. little things can impair us for life- and your story is a sad but strong reminder of that.
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